Monday, 20 June 2016

The Twittering Turd

The twittering turd is brown and long
It pongs and poops and stinks and stuff
It’s not much use for much at all
Just waste and water brown and round
Long and firm or splashy thin
Flock of sparrows, pudgy firm
Twice round the pan know there’s a thing

Full of bugs and bits of stuff
Grains and grits and flaky bread
From the bum it drops with grace
To splash into the hallowed place
The place where turds go, who knows where
To twitter on like turds and birds
Who’s ever heard a twittering turd?

This came from one of those absurd thoughts that plops into one’s mind occasionally, well my mind, today it was the notion of a twittering turd, goodness knows why! Nothing to do with Twitter, although on the other hand...

Alistair J Parker
20th June 2016

Saturday, 18 June 2016

The Shipping Forecast

Portland, Plymouth Lundy's next
The Irish Sea is where we are
Gales are forecast North and West
Force 8 for now and 10 for later
Veering backing swinging round
Precipitation in the air
Good to moderate sometimes poor
Low Millibars means squally showers
Inshore off-shore gusting strong
Calm descending all around
Shipping forecast sailing by
Time to shut the eye and sleep
Back to counting woolly sheep

Inspired by hearing Alan Bennett reading the weather forecast on Radio 4 Today programme on Saturday 18th June 2016

Alistair J Parker
18th June 2016