Monday, 20 June 2016

The Twittering Turd

The twittering turd is brown and long
It pongs and poops and stinks and stuff
It’s not much use for much at all
Just waste and water brown and round
Long and firm or splashy thin
Flock of sparrows, pudgy firm
Twice round the pan know there’s a thing

Full of bugs and bits of stuff
Grains and grits and flaky bread
From the bum it drops with grace
To splash into the hallowed place
The place where turds go, who knows where
To twitter on like turds and birds
Who’s ever heard a twittering turd?

This came from one of those absurd thoughts that plops into one’s mind occasionally, well my mind, today it was the notion of a twittering turd, goodness knows why! Nothing to do with Twitter, although on the other hand...

Alistair J Parker
20th June 2016

Saturday, 18 June 2016

The Shipping Forecast


Portland, Plymouth Lundy's next
The Irish Sea is where we are
Gales are forecast North and West
Force 8 for now and 10 for later
Veering backing swinging round
Precipitation in the air
Good to moderate sometimes poor
Low Millibars means squally showers
Inshore off-shore gusting strong
Calm descending all around
Shipping forecast sailing by
Time to shut the eye and sleep
Back to counting woolly sheep

Inspired by hearing Alan Bennett reading the weather forecast on Radio 4 Today programme on Saturday 18th June 2016

Alistair J Parker
18th June 2016

Monday, 18 April 2016

The Art of Innocents

Innocence and sense of awe
The child mind links with hand and soul
To draw and paint without restraint
The inner thoughts of mind
Unrestrained and unconcerned
The soul is bared in marks
Marks that look so innocent yet
Hide deep thoughts and things
Profound and simple things
That can not be said in words

The marks they make are made with thought
And feeling from the heart
The good the bad the deepest woe
Come flooding out as marks
Marks that make no sense to us
But hide a hidden code
No mark is made for markings sake
They mean so much to them
The artist in the child we see
Their way to say what’s there

What’s there is there and needs to out
To make a mark with pen or paint
Releases hidden words, words we see not say
Because they mean so much to them
They have a need for art
To bare the soul and shout, or
Quietly contemplate a way to be
To understated what pictures mean to those
Who feel the need to make a mark
To have a voice that everyone can see

This poem was inspired by my recent experience as a creative art facilitator with a group of year one children (5 – 6 year olds) at St Johns RC School, Poulton le Fylde. I am grateful to them for helping me to see what only a child can see, the power of art.

Alistair J Parker
18th April 2016


Friday, 18 March 2016

My Friend the Radio

Radio the way to go
The sound that fills the day
Soothing sounds to chill the spine
Or songs that we all know
Listen when you’re on your own
A friend at any hour
When sleep is scarce a voice is there
To comfort and to share

Philosophy and comedy
Some-thing for every taste
DAB and FM who will win
The battle of the waves
The News today and every day
The Archers will enthral
Book at bedtime play for today
The plots come thick and fast

Desert islands discs and chat
Music everyday
Woman's hour I learn so much
And blush at what they say
Politicians prattle on
And try to get their way
On Today and every day
Far too much to say

Listen nodding sailing by
The Queen is on the way
Shipping forecast so precise
Ends another day
Radio you good old friend
I'm off to sleep for now
Hope I wake and you are there
You are a friend I (you) know

Inspired by James Massiah, poet and wordsmith in residence with Radio 4, and many years of listening to the radio, particularly in the wee small hours.

Alistair J Parker
18th March 2016

Monday, 29 February 2016

The Birth of a Railway - The Birth of a Town

Sir Peter Hesketh Fleetwood was, a man of land and dreams
He lived at Rossall by the point, the north end of the Fylde
Rabbit warrens, sandy hills and marshes all around
At Rossall Hall he hatched a plan, a plan to take his name

Eighteen thirty was the year, a time of trains and steam
Making things was what they did in factories and in mills
Peter Fleetwood had a dream that one day he would see the queen
He’d build a railway then a town a port with ships that steam

The future beckons those who say that ports and railways are the way
Belching monsters hissing steam more than just a smoky dream
Futures calling those who hear, the forward way is written clear
He’d seen the Rocket, well impressed, George Stephenson, he was the best

He’s quite the man you need to know, he’s building railways good to go
The railways were the way to go, to go to Fleetwood and beyond
Railways steamships foreign lands smoking factories meet demand
Fleetwood is the place to be, to come by train, to see the sea

The land is bought, a port is born, the track is laid, a railway made
The railway days have now appeared and railway tracks are being laid
No muddy roads or slow canals, railway trains are now the way
Preston’s twenty miles away, we can visit twice a day

The great day comes the crowds are out, shouting waving flags about
Locomotive, splendid coaches, packed with ladies wearing broaches
Special people looking grand, drinking champagne with a band
We’re off to Fleetwood, clouds of steam, the engines chuffin like a dream

All aboard and yes we’re late, forgot the brown ale, but they’ll wait
Hissing clanking, belching smoke, snaking onwards gleaming track
Lots of people making hay cheering shouting all the way
Amazing sight a chuffing train faster than a human brain

Through a village, little town, past the houses, painted brown
Clicking clacking, on the rails, hear the whistle blowing loud
Kirkham, Poulton, bells are peeling, tranquil fields, and grazing cows
Over banking palisades, by the river round the bend, to the station at the end

The day was fine the crowds were vast, ensigns fluttered from the masts
Here is Sir Peter, knobs in tow, troop down the platform all a show
Stepping from the carriage doors, they strut their stuff, to massed applause
Congratulations left and right, it was such a joyous sight

Lots of pomp and beer and glee, by the river by the sea
New town nestles by the sands, healthy bathing, ain’t it grand
Crowded trains from smoky towns, bringing folk to breathe the air
New horizons open wide, a brave new town goes nationwide

In Decimus his trust he placed, to draw him up a winning place
Fleetwood Town does grow and grow, around the mount the roads do flow
Set out by plough the streets do show, neat little houses row on row
Fleetwood he of Rossall fame, had planned a town to take his name

The Queen she came with retinue by boat from Scotland’s shores
To Fleetwood on the way down south, to London town she did go
By train and railway don’t you know, the only way to go
She came and went with pomp and glee, watched by thousands from the quay

People came from miles around to see Queen Vic in the town
The band played loud, folk waved a lot, a fleeting glimpse is all they got
She’d gone before the mayor say; it’s been a very merry day
Off to Poulton for a stop to take on water not a drop

The dogs did bark the kids did shout, the Queen was chuffed and waved about
I am impressed; she deigned to say, as the royal train sped away,
I’ll be back here don’t you know, to go by train’s the way to go
A town he built, and railway ran, tell old Fleetwood he’s the man

Written when engaged with an art residency for Wyre Borough Council together with Left Coast, as part of a exhibition installation on the theme of the port and town of Fleetwood that was built in response to the arrival of the west coast railway from Preston. The railway provided a link from London to the west coast of Scotland.  With reference to the visit of Queen Victoria to Fleetwood on her return from Scotland in the Royal Yacht to link with the new railway from Fleetwood to London.
Alistair J Parker 
29th February 2016

Sunday, 27 December 2015

Boil on yer Bum

Red and swollen pulsing pain
Carbuncled flesh a festering boil
Painfully pulsing pouting head
Poultice bandage draw it out
Pop it lance it to relieve
Suppurating oozing pus
Squeeze and squeeze relief is nigh
Gushes forth into the sky
Like custard oozing from the ground
It's gone it's gone no more no pain
Such sweet relief to sit again

Alistair J Parker


27th December 2015

Sunday, 22 November 2015

My Mate Ken

He’d knock you down and pick you up
And make a set of teeth
He’d buy a pint or two or more
And never let you pay
He’s wily, crafty like a fox
Streetwise, wary, sharp
Loyal and fair
Opinions about everything
He’d argue white is black 
A mate you’d want to watch your back
He’s like a brick, a rock, a mate
A mate who’ll see ya right
A mate who fights for what is right
A mate who’s always there
He’s what a mate is for
A mate in need 
Is a mate indeed
That’s my mate Ken

For Kens 85th Birthday

Alistair J Parker
22.11.15